Capturing that 'holiday feeling' every now and then

When I am asked what mindfulness is sometimes I feel there isn't enough time to truly explain how life changing it can be. I think a good way of explaining it is that you capture the ‘holiday feeling’ more often which has got to be a good thing! It’s that moment when you feel your shoulders drop and you let out an unexpected, contented sigh just enjoying life as it is in the present. In a nutshell, you fully LET GO.

When we practice mindfulness we’re not striving to be elsewhere or wanting more stuff or desperate to change our situation. We accept where we are right now. We do the same thing when we’re on holiday. We eat mindfully savouring the taste, we walk mindfully enjoying the walk, we swim mindfully loving the sense of freedom in the sea.

We also let go of time stress. We spend so much of our day limited by time without even realising it. When we’re on holiday we can forget what time it is just like when we’re practising mindfulness.

There are other types of stresses that would normally limit us that we let go of on holiday and in the mindfulness practice – people stress (relationships that cause friction), world stress (less focus on the news on holiday and in the practice of mindfulness), role stress (work is left behind) etc.

We let go of all of this on holiday and in the same token, during the brief stillness and peace of mindfulness we do the same thing. So the next time someone asks me ‘what all this mindfulness stuff is about’  I will use the analogy of achieving that holiday feeling every now and then to start to explain the life changing wonder that is mindfulness.

I have me to turn to, I am my 'person'

All my life I have been looking for something that was within my grasp all along: validation. I have spent a great deal of time and energy seeking approval from others. I didn’t realise that the only person who needs to validate me is me. I have me to turn to and I had me all long. In Greys Anatomy Meredith questions who her ‘person’ is. For those who don’t watch the show she meant her ‘go to’, the one she can rely on no matter what. She was her person, she just didn’t realise it.

Sometimes I can be so calm when someone is telling me something provocative that I am met with a look or even have the story repeated to me assuming that perhaps I misheard, so small was my reaction. This was me pausing before responding, I just didn’t have the knowledge of mindfulness to understand myself.

In the past I would question myself, discarding my inner voice and making far too much room for other more dominant voices. I started to overreact to impress, to behave in a way that suited others, to fall in line.

Just like a mountain, I needed to learn to be myself at all times, unmoved by the weather patterns around me. “…seen or unseen, in sun or clouds, broiling or frigid, it just sits, being itself” (Jon Kabat Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are, p138).

Remaining still and comfortable in your own skin takes time and a lot of self acceptance (I believe for me this is a lifelong project). I find that a self compassion meditation followed by a mountain meditation really helps me. The self compassion meditation boosts love and kindness towards myself and the mountain meditation boosts my inner strength, self belief and equanimity. I use these meditations regularly to remind myself that I am enough, that I have me to turn to, that I am my ‘person’.

 

Running through the fog, not away from it

I went for a run this morning and the park was full of fog. I could only see a small path in front of me then I was right in the thick of it, running with fog all around me and no idea when it would clear. Then it did for a bit, a pocket of clarity came and I could see the road ahead for a short while. Then I was clouded in fog again. This kept happening.

Just like life itself, none of us know what the road ahead looks like. We just have to start running and wait for the path to clear, knowing that it will.

But also not getting too attached to the clear path when it turns up as at some point it will become foggy again. Learning to accept the ever changing ebb and flow of life.

With regular mindfulness practice we can approach these moments of clarity and unknown with patience, equanimity and acceptance. Understanding that a lot of life is uncertain but we have a choice as to how we approach it.

Running through the fog, not away from it.